On Tuesday, the National Basketball Association sent its teams a delightful common-sense reminder not to tamper with players under contract like the New Orleans superstar Chris Paul, who had been the subject of numerous illicit trade rumors and seductive Tweets from Cleveland ex-pat LeBron James.

The following is the tampering reminder sent to the New York Knicks, who were among the teams reportedly intrigued by Mr. Paul:

1. If Chris Paul sends you flowers, send them back. See if he wants Eddie Curry, too.

2. If Chris Paul sends you Zabar's, send it back. Okay, keep the rugelach. But that's it.

3. If Chris Paul tries to friend you on Facebook, ignore the request.

4. If Chris Paul can get you two tickets to ''Merchant of Venice,'' don't go.

5. If you are introduced Chris Paul at a party, keep mistakenly referring to him as Ron Paul.

6. If Chris Paul asks to see the top of the Empire State Building, show him the roof of Gray's Papaya instead.

7. If Chris Paul wants to pitch the 8th inning for the Yankees instead of Joba, deny him. Actually, you know what? Let him.

8. If you see Chris Paul walking down the street toward you, immediately hold your phone to your ear and begin having a very loud, animated pretend conversation about your head lice. Or the Mets.

9. If Chris Paul asks for the name of a good Italian restaurant in New York, start laughing uproariously, and tell him there are no Italian restaurants in New York, and never have been.

10. If Chris Paul asks for the time, just tell him it's "Time to Bring in Bobby Valentine."

11. If Chris Paul asks to meet the two biggest celebrities in New York, bring him Ernie Anastos and Dr. Zizmor.

12. If Chris Paul moves into your apartment building, regularly steal his copies of Free Agent Point Guard and The New Yorker in the vestibule.

13. If you meet a person who is very ill, and their last wish is to meet Chris Paul, be respectful, but secretly try to get them excited about Amare Stoudemire.

14. If Chris Paul says he can explain 'Inception,' ignore him. Okay, listen for a minute and see if he's figured it out.

15. If Chris Paul comes up to you and whispers that he really, really wants to come to play for the Knicks, just walk away. But first, sneak him the rugelach.

Michael Jordan led the Bulls to six titles. And though "His Airness" had Scottie Pippen, there is little question the Bulls were Jordan's team.

So what does Jordan, one of the best-ever in the NBA, think of LeBron James joining with All-Stars Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh to form a super team in Miami?

"There's no way, with hindsight, I would've ever called up Larry, called up Magic and said, 'Hey, look, let's get together and play on one team,' " Jordan told NBC Sports yesterday after finishing tied for 22nd in the American Century Championship golf tournament in Stateline, Nev. "But that's . . . things are different. I can't say that's a bad thing. It's an opportunity these kids have today. In all honesty, I was trying to beat those guys."

Everything I have read about that era in the NBA: Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Isiaih Thomas, is that they thrived on the rivalries. It is what drove them to get better. Teaming up to stack the odds was never what they would have considered.

As Jordan puts it: "I was trying to beat those guys."

CONFORMITY * (FEAR + CONSEQUENCES) / BALLS = DURATION OF WORSHIP.

George Steinbrenner died today. 

As a life long Yankee fan Steinbrenner was omnipresent, especially in my youth.  I appreciate what he did, bringing the Yankees back to greatness and I appreciate his business skills.  I also know that he helped a lot of people who had fallen off the beaten path and he did it quietly.

However, as a fan of the Yankees I have a pretty keen memory of the circus he created, the players and managers he bullied and abused, his idiotic tantrums, his crimes (illegal campaign contributions and his attempted blackmail of Dave Winfield), and just the way he made a hell of a lot of Yankee fans in the 1980's and early 90's feel that their team was being held hostage by....well by a big, fat asshole. 

HT: Matt Taibbi

It was a wedding toast heard from Broadway to Bourbon Street.

During Carmelo Anthony's wedding Saturday night at Cipriani's on 42nd Street, Chris Paul, the superstar New Orleans point guard, predicted a future Knicks Dream Team.

Take that, LeCon.

According to a person who spoke with wedding attendee Amar'e Stoudemire, Paul made the reference during a speech of a potential union of himself, Stoudemire and Anthony, saying, "We'll form our own Big 3," Paul allegedly said.

The game ain't over yet. Still 1 or 2 more years left in the Donnie Walsh plan. The Dream Lives On.

"The Decision" was simultaneously the most painful and most hilarious television show I've seen in a long time. Its entertainment value rested almost entirely in its scope -- the same way a person goes to the Niagara Falls or to the Grand Canyon for that take-your-breath-away moment when the heretofore unimaginable vastness of the vista is first perceived, I watched "The Decision" in breathless awe of the sheer scale of the narcissism involved.

By any measure it was a landmark moment in the history of human self-involvement, eclipsing previous peaks in the narcissism Himalayas (Nero's impromptu fiddle concert as Rome burned, the career of the prophet Mohammed, Kim Jong Il publishing "The Popularity of Kim Jong Il") mainly because it was a collective effort. You can understand the citizens of Tsaritsyn cheering the decision to rename their city; if they didn't like "Stalingrad," they were getting lined up and shot.

But what was our excuse? The weird thing about this Lebron story is that seven or eight years ago, he seemed like a nice kid. All he did was step into a media machinery deisgned to create, reward, nurture, and worship self-obsessed assholes. He was raw clay when he went in, and now he's everything we ever wanted him to be -- a lost, attention-craving narcissistic monster who simultaneously despises and needs the slithering insect-mortals who by the millions are bent over licking his toes (represented in The Decision by the ball-less, drooling sycophant Jim Gray). 

Click on the link above to read the rest of his post.

Everybody Loves Raymond in the Knicks’ front office.

The clutch signing of point guard Raymond Felton to a two-year deal puts the Knicks in position to earn an eighth seed in the playoffs and a possible first-round matchup with LeBron James’ Miami Dream Team.

But Felton’s short-term contract also has allowed the Knicks to develop a new master plan and dream bigger.

The Knicks now can chase superstars who actually want to play in New York: Carmelo Anthony in 2011 and point guards Chris Paul or Deron Williams in 2012.

As I have said before, this was not just about LeBum. Donnie Walsh has done a masterful job at opening up enough salary cap space for a 2-3 year run in the free agent market. I love the Man with The Plan.